


I Will Never Lose You

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Grissom let's Sara go leaving her to go nowhere but down.
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle





	I Will Never Lose You

I stared at my phone as I stood outside the CSI building. Taking a breath, I didn't see any new calls. I looked out at the passing cars thinking.

"Sara?" Nick said, as he walked over "You okay?"

"Yeah."

He nodded looking as tired as I felt. It had been a long shift dealing the death of a little girl.

"We are going out to have drinks. Want to come?" He asked

I looked down at my silent phone in my hand then I nodded looking at him. He smiled waiting as I walked over to join the group. After an hour I realized that I had to call a taxi. I got in telling the driver where to go. Lifting up my phone I tried to focus on the screen. The taxi stopped outside my place. I got out feeling it start to rain.

"Of course." I said, making my way to the elevator. When I got to my door I went to open it noticing my wedding ring gleaming in the dim light. Lifting my hand I stared at it.

Suddenly my phone went off making me jump. I sighed lifting it up seeing the name I wished had called earlier on it.

"Sidle." I said, as I opened my door.

"Hey." He said

I came into my place throwing my keys somewhere.

"Sara?" He called, with a hint of concern.

"I'm here, I think." I said, as I walked into the living room.

"Are you okay?"

"I am tired and numb." I said, as I went to the bedroom collapsing on the bed.

"Tough shift?"

"Shifts, and yes." I said

"What happened?"

"Little girl dead."

"Oh." He said, sadly.

"I went out with Nick and the others and we had some drinks." I said, yawning.

He stayed quiet for a few moments.

"Gris?"

"I'm here. You sound to tired to talk."

"No. I am fine."

"We'll talk soon. Bye honey."

"Bye."

I sighed hearing the click on his side. I moved to my side looking at the phone. The next shift I wandered around the building. Since the little girl case was solved I was put on standby. Sitting at the computer in the room I looked at different things pertaining to the case.

The little girl's picture came up on the screen and I just stared at her. She smiled back at me and it broke my heart. Catherine came in looking at the screen then at me.

"Hey." She said

"Hey." I said, frowning at the screen.

"You just answered my question."

"What question?"

"Your becoming obsessed with the little girl case."

"No, I just thought I would look at information." I said, shutting it down.

"Sara, in the past…"

"Catherine, please don't give me a lecture." I said, rubbing my head.

"I am just worried about you. You mood has changed from happy to sad lately. Is something wrong outside of work?"

I stood looking at her feeling annoyed.

"Nothing is wrong." I said, before leaving. Catherine watched me go without another word.

Greg needed help out in the field so I went to help. He was working inside the victims home asking me to take the outside. I found a broken window at the back. After taking prints and using plaster to make an imprint of a shoe print I walked out to the street looking around for evidence. A lone car sat at the end of the street and had someone inside watching the scene. I watched the person as Greg came out.

"Hey, what did you find?" He asked

"Broken glass, partial print and a shoe print in the mud." I said, as I looked back at the man in the car.

"I'm going to put my things in the Tahoe." Greg said, walking past. I nodded continuing to stare at the car. The lights came on and I heard the motor turn on then the car lurched forwards at me. I put my hands up to scared to move. Greg heard the commotion seeing the car speed past his Tahoe. Cops ran over to where I lay in the road in a heap. Greg ran over to where I was.

"Sara!" He shouted, running over. He leaned over me checking my pulse then he grabbed his phone calling for an ambulance.

Catherine stood outside in the hospital waiting room pacing as Greg sat in a chair looking very upset. The doctor came out seeing Catherine walking over he cleared his throat.

"Are you here for Sara Sidle?"

Catherine and Greg both looked over at him. Greg stood walking over to the older man fearing the worst.

"Yes, I am Catherine Willows and this is Greg Sanders."

"Oh and where is Gil Grissom?"

"He's in Paris." Greg said

"Is she all right?" Catherine asked

"She was hurt badly. Is there anyway of contacting Mr. Grissom?"

"Yes, I'll call him." Catherine said

"The sooner the better." The doctor said, before walking away.

"What did he mean bad?" Greg asked

"I don't know. Go back to the lab and I will be there to help you."

"Catherine?" Greg said

"Go." She said

He sighed walking away. She pulled out her cell phone swallowing walking to the doors to the outside stopping as she dialed his number. The phone rang several times before she heard him.

"Grissom."

"Hey Gil." She said, watching the movement outside.

"Catherine, something wrong?"

"Gil, you need to come to Las Vegas immediately."

A pause over the phone made her shiver.

"What happened?"

"It's Sara."

"Is she all right?" He asked, closing his eyes fearing her next words.

"No."

"I'll be there soon."

"Good."

Grissom hung up as he sat on the couch in the apartment in Paris feeling worry get the better of him. Catherine looked around as she put her phone away sighing.

Grissom caught a flight over coming in the next evening. He rushed to the hospital asking for some information. The doctor came out greeting him.

"My wife?" Grissom asked

"I am afraid she is in a coma."

The words stunned Grissom.

"Everything that can be done is being done. Her injuries are severe, punctured lung, broken bones, and of course the head trauma she received."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course."

Grissom was led into a hall where rooms where I was lying. He looked at all the wires connected to me and the ventilator covering my mouth. The doctor walked over to the bed looking at Grissom.

"We tried to repair her lung and it is holding its own for now."

Grissom nodded not hearing what he was saying as he slowly walked over seeing my arm in a cast.

"I'll leave you." The doctor said, going.

Grissom stood quietly looking at me. His hand went to my cast free arm touching my limp hand. He leaned down kissing my head.

"Sara, fight." He said

Catherine looked at Grissom in her office as he stared at nothing sitting in a chair in front of her desk.

"Why don't you stay at my place?" She asked

He looked at her taking a breath.

"I think I'll just stay at Sara's."

"Will you eat?"

Grissom looked at her nodding. He sat on the couch in my place looking at the half empty Chinese container on the coffee table in silence. A picture of us was held in his hand. He looked at it remembering the happy day. Sighing he looked around the clean apartment closing his eyes setting his head back.

He came into the CSI building seeing Greg sitting in the lounge toying with a paper coffee cup at the couch. Walking in he went to pour himself some coffee.

"Greg?" Grissom said, looking over at him as he drank some coffee.

Greg moved seeing him.

"Grissom, when did you get here?"

"Last night, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking." Greg said "I am glad you back."

"Thank's." Grissom said, watching him.

"I see her lying in the street. Every time I try to sleep and even when I work."

Grissom put his hand on Greg's shoulder.

"I know she will be okay. Just try to keep that in your head."

Greg nodded before leaving.

Grissom sat reading in my room by my bed for days and then a week went by and another. Going back to the apartment he answered his phone that was ringing.

"Grissom?" He said

"Hey Gil, I have another lecture for you to do at the university." The man said, over the phone.

"Hello Phil, I am afraid I can't do any lectures right now. I am in Las Vegas."

"Vegas? Why?"

"My wife was hurt and I need to be with her." Grissom said, as he entered the dark house.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Thank's. I might be here awhile, but I will let you know."

"Okay, take care."

"You to."

Grissom sat on the floor against the door feeling himself breaking down. He put his hands on his face shaking. The phone went off waking him from a light sleep. He looked at his watch seeing it was four am. Sitting up he put the phone to his ear.

"Yes?" He answered, rubbing his worn face.

"Mr. Grissom, this is Doctor Ward."

"Is Sara awake?"

"No, I am afraid she has taken a turn for the worse."

"I'll be right there." He said

Catherine met him at the hospital looking very scared. He walked with her down the hallway to the waiting area. The doctor came out seeing them.

"How is she?" Grissom asked, walking over to the doctor.

"I can't give you an optimistic report. Her lung collapsed again and she is going into surgery. Right now her vitals are weak. That means we could lose her on the table. You must prepare yourself." The doctor said, touching his arm. Catherine felt tears start to form as she looked at Grissom.

"How long will the surgery take?" Grissom asked, calmly.

"A few hours, when it is over I will come out and talk to you."

"Thank you." Grissom said

Catherine touched his arm and he looked at her.

"I'm losing her, Catherine."

"Sara, is strong. She will fight." She said, hearing her voice break a little.

He waited with her and Brass who came to join him in support. Grissom looked at his hands as Brass paced. Catherine went to make a call as the two men waited.

"I should have been here with her." Grissom said

"Don't start regretting, Gil." Brass said

"She might die; Jim and I didn't tell her I love her."

"Gil, stop it! She knows that you love her."

Grissom sighed closing his eyes leaning his head back. Brass looked over seeing a doctor walking out.

"Gil."

Grissom looked over seeing Doctor Ward in an operating outfit. He sighed looking at Grissom.

"She made it."

Grissom and Brass sighed with relief. Catherine came in seeing the doctor.

"What happened?" She asked

"She made it." Brass said

"Good."

"I don't know how, but obviously someone was looking after her." The doctor said "We are moving her into her room."

"Thank you." Grissom said

"You can see her in half an hour."

He looked at them all then he walked back through the doors. Brass looked at Catherine then at Grissom. He stood in silence looking at the doors.

"Gil can we do anything for you?" Brass asked

"No."

"We can bring you something to eat." Catherine said

"We'll be right back." Brass said, going with Catherine. Grissom sat down in a chair looking at his hands. He came into the room I was in. My skin looked paler than before. He took my hand lifting it up kissing it.

"Sara, I know I haven't been the ideal husband. You should have found someone that could be there for you. Work comes first for me and it should be the other way. I regret everything I did to you." He said, rubbing my hand "I'm sorry."

Grissom came out of the room taking a breath. He walked out seeing just Brass standing by the door waiting for him.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah." Grissom said, taking another breath "Jim, will you promise me one thing?"

"What?" Brass asked, walking over.

"Take care of Sara."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving." Grissom said, walking by him.

"Leaving?" Brass said, following him "You mean for good?"

"It's the only way for her to move on."

"Gil, Sara is in a coma! You can't just abandon her!"

"Do you think it is easy to do this? I love Sara, but she needs to have someone that can be there for her!" Grissom said, as he faced Brass.

"Go then." Brass said, giving him a look before walking away.

Grissom watched him go then he turned leaving. On the flight back to Paris he looked at the window thinking about things. He got off walking through airport when his cell phone rang. He put it to his ear taking a breath.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Grissom this is Doctor Ward. I have some great news your wife has just woken up."

Grissom hesitated as he listened.

"Hello?"

"I am here. That is great news. If you could keep me informed of her status."

"Oh….all right."

Grissom hung up looking down before moving on. A week later I sat up in bed weak looking around the room when Catherine came in. She smiled walking over carrying a basket of flowers with balloons attached to the basket.

"You look much better." She said, hugging me.

"Thanks." I said

She pulled away from me seeing the solemn expression on my face.

"What's wrong?"

"He didn't even come to see me."

"Sara, he came here."

"When?" I asked

"When you were in the coma. He sat for hours." She said, putting the basket on a table by the window.

"Why isn't he here now?"

She walked over sitting on the bed.

"Brass told me he went back to Paris."

She saw the hurt expression on my face. Her hand touched mine.

"He is very confused right now. He thinks you would be better off without him."

I shook my head looking down.

"I'm sorry."

That night I laid on my side crying looking at the heart monitor.

A few weeks later I went home. Catherine allowed me to work, but only in the lab for a few weeks. My cell phone went off as I walked in the hallway. I looked at the caller seeing it was Grissom. I sighed putting my phone away.

After shift I went home getting on my computer. He was online so I dinged him to talk to me.

"Hey." He wrote

"Is that all you can say." I wrote

"Are you all right?"

"Gil, what is going on?"

Pause…..pause

"Sara, I feel as if we should separate."

"What?" I asked

"I have thought about this and I believe this is the best option."

I shut the computer down just stunned. Grissom saw I shut down the instant messenger. He sighed looking at the screen.

Going to a bar I drank my weight in alcohol. Brass came in seeing me at the bar counter gulping down something in a glass. He walked over noticing I was wobbling on my seat very intoxicated.

"Another one." I said, slurring.

"A beer for me." Brass said, tossing a bill on the counter "Hey."

I said nothing looking down.

"What are we celebrating?" He asked, watching as I gulped down another drink.

"We…are celebrating…the end of…your marriage." I said "Another!"

"I see." He said, taking a drink of his beer watching the bartender pour another shot for me.

"Do you….not know….what happened to…you?" I asked, almost falling off my stool.

"Careful." He said, holding my arm.

"He…said…he wanted us…to….seferrate." I said "Can I believe that?"

He sighed looking at me. I lifted the shot glass to my lips realizing it was empty.

"Another one!" I shouted

"I think you have had enough." He said, putting another bill on the counter "Why don't I take you home."

"I don't want to go home." I said, almost falling. He grabbed my arm pulling me up.

"Come on." He said, pulling me to the door. I stumbled along dazed and numb. Brass parked outside my place looking at me. I sat with my head against the glass snoring. He shook his head getting out. He opened the door catching me as I fell out.

"Whoa!" He said, helping me stand up. I looked around sagging against him.

He helped me up the stairs finally giving up as he picked me up taking me to the elevator. Once inside my apartment he went into the bedroom lying me down. He took my shoes off pulling the covers up then he left.

The next shift I threw up in the bathroom. Standing up I went to the sink looking at myself in the mirror. Catherine watched me come into her office with results on a print on some shoes.

"Prints match." I said, handing her the paper.

She looked at me before looking at the paper. I swallowed touching my stomach.

"Good work." She said, putting the paper on her desk.

I nodded walking out.

"Sara?" She called

I came back looking at her.

"You okay?" She asked, furrowing her brows.

"Yeah."

"You look sick."

"I'm fine." I said, leaving.

Brass saw me standing by the building outside breathing in the air. He walked over as I looked over at him.

"You beat my record last night."

"So that was you?"

"Yeah, how are you doing?"

"Fine." I said

"I was concerned." He said

"No need to be."

He nodded watching me walk away. I sat in the computer lab looking at the blank screen. My head pounded as I closed my eyes laying my head against my arms.

I started dreaming hearing someone come in rubbing my sore shoulders. I moaned as the fingers rubbed the spot that ached the most. Then I felt someone lean down kissing my neck.

"Sara?" Catherine called, making me jump. I looked over at her as she stood by the table looking at me.

"What's up?" I asked

"Go home."

"It's not time to go." I said, looking at my watch.

"Go home and get some rest." She said, leaving.

I sighed standing. When I got home I collapsed on my bed sleeping. My cell phone went off, but I left it. When I did wake up it was midafternoon I was still sick and called in to Catherine. My phone went off again and as I laid on the couch I looked at it.

A few weeks later I took pictures at a crime scene working alongside nick. He looked at a body of a woman on the steps outside of the house glancing at me taking pictures of a little boy in the front yard. I took a breath stumbling backwards. Nick stood then he walked over looking concerned.

"Sara, are you okay?" He asked

"I'm fine." I said, walking away from him.

We made it back to the lab carrying our evidence in. Catherine walked over to the room that Nick and I were in working.

"How's it going?" She asked

"Fine." I said

"Sara can I see you a minute?" She asked, walking away.

I looked at Nick then I went out following her to her office.

"What's up?" I asked

"Have a seat." She said, as she sat down behind her desk.

I snapped off my gloves and sat down sighing.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"What?" I asked, smiling.

She leaned over the desk looking at me seriously.

"When?" She asked

"I ate something before I came to work."

"What was it?"

"Why are you so concerned?"

"Sara, I have been watching you. Ever since Grissom….you have not been yourself. You are not eating, you look sick all the time, and you have been sleeping a lot." She said "I know it's been tough and I am really worried about you."

"I can handle it." I said

"I think your on your way to burn out."

"I'm fine." I said, standing "Anything else?"

"No." She said

I left without another word.

Working on my computer later I was dinged by Grissom. I stared at it not wanting to answer it. He dinged again and I sighed pressing the button.

"What?" I wrote

"Are you all right?"

"Why?"

"Catherine called me."

I looked around angry.

"Sara?"

"I thought we were separated which means you get to stop being a husband!"

I felt tears start to come down my cheeks.

"Look just leave me alone." I wrote, turning my computer off. I got up in search of a bottle. Grissom lifted his phone up thinking about calling me, but he froze putting it down. His concern grew into worry.

The next week I was walking to my car off the main road. Hallway there and everything went black. I fell to the ground with a thud. Brass ran over seeing me. He pulled me onto my back checking my pulse. Getting his phone he called for an ambulance.

"This Captain Jim Brass I am on Hawthorne Road at the 560 mark. I have a CSI down. Pulse is weak." He said, before hanging up. "Sara?"

He checked my pulse again then he looked up at the police watching. I woke looking around the ambulance. Hearing the siren and the movement of the vehicle. A man sat next to me watching me.

"Can you tell me your name?" He asked

"Sara." I said, dazed.

"Okay Sara, hold on we are almost there." He said

I closed my eyes again. I opened them seeing the man for the first time clearly. He looked like Grissom. I blinked seeing that he didn't look like him. Closing my eyes again I laid back against the pillows.

I came home later shutting the door sliding down against it hearing my phone ring as I cried. I laid on the floor sobbing. Catherine walked over seeing me in the lounge getting some coffee.

"I'm fine." I said, looking at her.

"I think your anything but fine." Catherine said

I sighed walking past her.

"Sara?" She called, watching me turn to look at her "If you want to talk I am here."

I looked at her then I walked away.

Grissom walked into the CSI building taking a breath a few weeks later. He looked around seeing people walk by the front desk. Catherine walked over greeting him then she led him into her office.

"I'm glad you came back." She said

"I had to after your last call." He said, sitting in a chair "How is she?"

"I don't know. She has been avoiding me."

"She won't avoid me." He said

I leaned over a tire in the lab not noticing the person opening the door coming in. I glanced up seeing Grissom standing in work clothes looking at me.

"Grissom?" I said

"Sara."

I swallowed standing still. He looked at the tire as he came closer.

"Have you found something?" He asked

I said nothing as he waited for me to answer. He looked at me seeing I was frozen.

"Are you all right?" He asked, scanning me up and down.

I moved over to him without a word kissing him. He was stunned, but then he relaxed kissing me. I pushed him against the wall putting my gloved hands in his hair as his hands went onto my waist. All the pain I felt came out in that kiss. Our lips smacked together in a rhythm. I moaned as one of his hands went lower touching my behind. I moved back looking at him as he looked at me.

"To…answer….your question…..I'm fine." I said

He breathed fast watching me move back letting him go.

"Go…back to Paris."

He stared at me as I snapped off my gloves walking out of the room. He watched me go without another word. After shift I came home sensing that I was not alone. Grabbing my gun I walked around slowly seeing a light on in my bedroom. I slowly went to the door taking a breath I opened it quickly seeing Grissom flipping through a magazine on the bed. I sighed putting my gun away glaring at him.

"I could have killed you!"

"I think we both know you wouldn't." He said

"Why are you here?" I asked, looking over by my dresser seeing his gray suitcase.

"I wanted to talk about the kiss." He said, throwing the magazine on the bed. I avoided his stare by walking around the room.

"I don't want to talk to you about anything."

"Sara, we have had ups and downs. We can talk now."

"Why can't you leave me alone? I was doing perfectly fine without you." I said, sitting on the bed on the other side taking my shoes off.

"Catherine thinks otherwise that's why she called me."

I started to laugh standing looking at him.

"So that's why you came to babysit me?"

"No, I came to help you."

"Grissom, I am tired and even though this is amusing I think I have had enough. Could you go?"

He got up sighing looking at me.

"Despite everything I do love you."

I watched him go out to the living room. I sat on the bed and looked down. Grissom laid on the couch dozing with the TV on. I laid in bed awake thinking about him out there. I thought about the kiss during shift closing my eyes touching my lips. Grissom did not move as I came out looking at him. I started to turn and walk back to the bedroom, but I came back watching him. Looking at his lips I couldn't stop myself. He jerked awake feeling me climb over onto his waist straddling him as I kissed him. He sat up kissing me as I kissed him with passion. Our breathing became erratic as we clawed each other.

Later he stared at the ceiling feeling my breath on his chest. He felt me move then still on top of him covered with a blanket. His lips came to my head kissing it then he put his hand on the top of my naked back. I moved again this time waking. He watched me lift my head looking at him.

"Hey." He said, touching my hair.

I sighed laying my head back down against his chest.

"What can I say?" He asked

"What do you want to say?" I asked

"I want to say I am sorry."

"Is that all?" I asked

"I love you."

I lifted myself up leaning over him.

"It hurt when I woke up and you were not there." I said "It hurt when you said I should move on. How could I? You were the only man I have ever loved."

"I hurt you again."

"I tried to ignore the pain, but it just hurt more."

He touched my hair looking at me sadly.

"If you leave me this time then I don't want to see you again." I said

"I am not leaving you." He said "Sara, let me make it up to you."

"I need time."

"How much?"

"I don't know." I said

"All right."

Grissom took a hotel room on the strip as I worked through some things. Catherine gave me an evening off so I put on a short party dress and went to the hotel he was at. He undid his tie turning on the news in his room. I knocked waiting he sighed throwing the remote on the bed as he walked over opening the door seeing me in a blue dress with my hair curled.

"Wow!" He said, looking me up and down.

"I am the hotel's complimentary party girl."

"Really, come in." He said, watching me walk in. He shut the door watching as my little black purse was thrown on a chair. I turned posing as he smiled walking over.

"I can massage your back, or I can feed you."

"Feed me?" He asked, smiling.

"Your overdressed." I said, walking over taking his tie off. He felt me push him back onto the bed. "Now, we can talk about rates." I said, climbing over him.

"I'm married."

"Most people are, honey."

"Sara." He said, chuckling.

"My name is not Sara, I am licorice."

He chuckled again watching me lean down kissing him. I then got up helping him up.

"You look beautiful." He said

"Thank's." I said, walking over to the large windows overlooking the bright lights of the town. He walked over putting his arms around my waist.

"What brings you here?" He said

"I had the night off and I decided to come and see you."

"I am glad you did." He said, kissing my neck.

"Grissom, I am sorry I have been cold."

"You have every right to be so. I have been sitting here for a week just thinking about us."

"What do we do?" I asked, putting my hands on his at my waist.

"Well for one thing I am ending my lectures in Paris." He said

I turned looking at him.

"I don't want you to do that."

"I want to. You are more important to me. I will move back here and take the job that was offered to me."

"Job?"

"At the lab. Ecklie offered me his old job since he is becoming an undersheriff."

"Will you be happy behind a desk?"

"I can work to get things for the lab. Plus you will be nearby."

"Grissom."

"Sara, I want to do this." He said

I could see the determination in his face. He leaned in kissing me gently then he hugged me. I allowed him back into my life and together we found a house near work. His new job started and with it we acquired new equipment. I smiled again as he would walk around in a suit talking with various people. Everyone brightened up because Grissom was back.

He called me into his office after I had an altercation with a cop at the crime scene I was working. The cop called the victim a name causing an uproar at the scene. I took issue with him and we had words.

I came into Grissom's office seeing him at his desk looking at me as I sat down in a chair.

"Well?" He said

"What?" I asked

"I have a report in front of me that you and a policeman got into a confrontation at the scene?"

"True."

He sighed sitting up in his chair.

"Do you want a suspension?"

"Look, he called the victim a slut. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Under the circumstances I would do the same thing, but you must not let your anger get the better of you."

"I barely touched him." I said

"Sara, you pushed him into some bushes!"

"I would do it again."

"Sara, please."

I stood up and smiled.

"I promise I will behave."

"Good."

He watched me leave. I smiled as I walked down the hallway. I came home later yawning. He was in the kitchen making breakfast in gray and black pajamas. I walked over laying my head against his back.

"Tough night?" He asked

"What are you making?"

"Omelets."

"You are wonderful."

"Get changed."

"Yes boss." I said, running off. We ate in silence at the kitchen table. I watched him read news from the morning paper. He cleared his throat looking at me.

"Something wrong?" He asked

"What do you think about babies?" I asked, watching him look at me seriously.

"Are you telling me that you are expecting?"

"No." I said, reaching over to touch his hand "I just wanted to know."

"I don't know." He said "We are not the most kid friendly people."

"True, but we could adapt."

"Sara, do you want a baby?"

"I don't know."

"Well before we agree I think we should think about it."

"Okay, let's discuss it." I said, sitting back in my chair.

"Okay, you would have to go to part time and then stop work all together." He said

"That is a con, but I could find someone to babysit after."

"A baby takes attention." He said, lifting a blue mug to drink from.

"I could switch to day shift."

"Would you really want to do that?"

"No, but if I wanted this to work I would have to." I said, sighing.

"Sara, we have to face the truth having a baby right now would be difficult."

"Yeah."

He stood up kissing me then he collected our plates walking away. I sat back looking down reaching into my pocket I pulled out a little plastic baggie with a pregnancy test. I looked at the result and then I looked over seeing Grissom walking to the bedroom.

I slept in bed as Grissom got ready for work. He leaned over kissing my head feeling me move.

"Work?" I asked, not opening my eyes.

"I'll see you there." He said

He walked around the bed seeing me sitting up touching my stomach.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah, I just….." I said, when a wave came over me. I ran to the bathroom throwing up. Grissom came in seeing me throwing up.

"Sara?"

"I'm…okay." I said

"I'll tell Catherine your sick."

"No! I'll be okay." I said

He nodded slowly watching me stand up going past him to the bed. I closed my eyes lying back down feeling his hand on my head.

"I have to go." He said "If you don't feel well later then I would stay home."

"Okay."

I came to work feeling better. I knew I would have to mention it to Grissom, but I decided to wait. He came by seeing me in the lounge eating a sandwich.

"Looks like your better." He said

I smiled at him as he leaned against the doorway.

"Going home?" I asked

"Yeah."

I walked over kissing his cheek not seeing Nick and Greg come in smiling at us.

"Ahhhhhhh." They both said, walking past.

"Knock it off." Grissoms said "See you later."

I nodded smiling watching him go. He came home happy to be able to sit back and relax. He walked over to the kitchen island grabbing the phone to order take out.

"Hello, I'd like to order some take out." He said "Yes, I'll hold."

He went into the kitchen taking out a ginger ale from the fridge seeing something sticking out in the garbage can. He set his bottle down picking up the object.

"Pregnancy test?" He said, seeing the result. It fell from his grasp onto the floor as he looked on in shock. "What?"

The voice over the phone spoke up.

"Oh, I changed my mind." Grissom said, turning the phone off. He picked up the test again looking at it. I came in throwing my bag down on the floor. I went into the bedroom seeing him in bed. Moving over I kissed his cheek seeing him move onto his back touching my waist.

"How was work?" He asked

"Fine." I said, kissing hm.

"I came home and found something." He said, between kisses.

"What?"

He rolled over opening up a drawer from the bedside table taking out the pregnancy test. He looked at me as he held it.

"When were you going to tell me?"

I leaned back sighing.

"Sara?"

"I don't know."

"Did you think I would be against this?" He asked, sitting up.

"No, I just didn't know what to say."

He looked at the test as I looked down.

"I want to have it." I said, noticing him looking up "Even if it turns out that I am not a good mother I want it."

"I would never force you to give it up. If you want the baby then we will have a baby."

I leaned over hugging him.

"I love you." He said

"I love you."

Nine months later I sat in Grissom's office waiting for him to take me home. He had a meeting and it was dragging on. Catherine came in smiling at me as she put a paper down on his desk.

"How are you doing?" She asked, watching me try to stand.

"Fine, although standing is hard." I said, letting her help me. I looked down at my stomach.

"Did you two decide on a name yet?"

"No, Grissom wants to not know what we are having." I said, winching some.

"You okay?" She asked, watching me rub my back.

"Yeah, it just hurt."

She nodded watching me. I winched again looking down.

"Sara, did the doctor tell you about delivering early?"

"No, you think I am in labor?"

"You might be starting. I think we should get Gil." She said, helping me to sit down again.

"I have two weeks left." I said

"Sometimes they come early." She said, feeling my stomach.

I nodded rubbing my stomach.

"Will you be all right?" She asked

"Yeah, it's probably nothing." I said

She got her phone dialing a number.

"He's not answering."

"Meeting, in Brass's office." I said "Owe!"

"What's wrong?" She asked

"A contraction." I said, breathing harder.

"Oh no!" She said, trying her phone again.

"Cath, my water just broke!" I said

She looked down seeing a noticeable wet spot on my pants and the floor.

"Find him!" I said

"Okay."

I stood breathing slower as the pain stopped. Three minutes later Grissom and Catherine ran into the office not seeing me.

"Where is she?" Grissom asked, putting his papers on his desk.

"I don't know."

They both ran to the lounge then to the bathroom. I held onto the sink as another contraction hit me.

"Gris, the baby is coming now!" I cried

"Cath, call an ambulance!" He said, holding me.

"I can't have the baby here!"

"We'll go into the lounge." He said

I nodded letting him help me to the room closest to the bathroom. Catherine ran in with towels and a blanket.

"They are coming." She said

"Get the doc." Grissom said

I cried out in pain as Grissom put the blanket over my legs then he took off my pants.

"What…is going on?" I asked

"Ssh." Grissom said, kissing my head.

"I need to push!" I said

Grissom looked up seeing Doctor Robbins come in wearing gloves. He looked behind him at Dave who knelt down at my legs.

"Okay Sara push!" Robbins said

I leaned back against Grissom pushing.

"Good." Dave said

"Can I push again?" I asked

"Whenever your ready." Dave said

I sat up some pushing harder only to collapse against Grissom. Dave caught the baby as everyone waited.

"It's a boy!" He said

"A boy!" I said

Grissom kissed my head hearing the babies cry.

"He looks like Grissom." Catherine said

We all laughed as Dave put a towel around him then lifted him over to me. The EMT'S came in with a gurney. Grissom walked with the gurney looking at me and our new son. I looked at him seeing a look of pride on his face. For a moment he looked like he would cry, but then he took my hand nodding to me that he was all right.

I woke up later in the hospital room seeing him rubbing my hand looking at me.

"I am proud for you." He said

He leaned over kissing me. For all the faults we both had it was forgotten after the baby was born.


End file.
